It’s a new day, and for that I am thankful!
Anxiety and paranoia keep me from having that, normal life, per say. I stay shut in most of the time. Never exploring what might be! But, I haven’t been this way forever.
I used to enjoy others company, now I do better alone. I used to love shopping, now the thought of a crowd, suffocates me. I used to enjoy long drives for peace of mind, now I’m rarely at peace in my mind, Its a constant battle to keep my sanity. I used to love reading, now I can’t sit still long enough to do that. I used to enjoy working, but fear, anxiety and paranoia now keep me from that. I used to enjoy life, but, I can’t really remember much about that part of me.
Life’s circumstances, trials and tribulations have brought out my illness more this past year or so. I’m more secluded than ever before. The past has been so unbearable at times, but I am working on things! Working on ME, my marriage, my family and my mental health!
I’m finally strong enough to make a change. Move on and strive for better days to come. I’m working on control, patience and acceptance. Understanding and forgiveness. And learning to love me♥
I feel that if I can make “peace” with alot of things in my life then, I can better control my disorders. The depression., anxiety, neverending paranoia, the fear… All of it. I’m not saying if I make peace then everything goes away. I’m saying, if I make peace with something, it makes everything else more manageable, easier to bear and to deal with. It lessons the symptoms.
I’m feeling good today. Looking and expecting a better life for me♥
I’m getting stronger♥ I’m a survivor♥
You control you. If you want better, you must strive for better. No matter the consequence. Be better, do better, push yourself. Take a step toward understanding mental health and doing something about it. That’s where I am. Doing something about it.
I could lay in bed all day. I could cry myself to sleep every night. I could allow anxiety to consume me. I could allow paranoia to take over my every thought. BUT, I choose! I choose to find happy. I choose to find peace. I choose to work harder on my mental health, to educate and feed my soul inspiration, I choose to get out of bed everyday. I choose to make better choices. I choose meditation over medication, I choose to work on me for a better tomorrow. I choose to accept I have mental illness, I choose to “accept” what is and find ways to make it better. I choose a better life, a healthier life.
I’m a work in progress. I cannot change my past, BUT the past has sure changed me♥ I’m fixing that. I’m recovering. Discovering me again. I am stronger♥